Learning About Love

14 years ago, I was a bride.

May 12, 2012.

I was 28.

It was one of the happiest days of my life, stamped in my memories forever.

For so long, I was angry at marriage. I scoffed at the thought of it. I thought it was phony. I thought it was something that other people were able to have success with, and that I am forever on the outside of those circles. I thought that marriage is a happy ending, that I’m not lucky enough to have. And that I’m alone because of it.

I’m not angry anymore.

I’ve made choices that haven’t been rewarded with ease. That’s ok. Marriage wasn’t going to be the institution that taught me the most about love. And that doesn’t mean that I get any less of it than anyone else. I’m on the other side now, and I can see that I can still have everything on the menu… and more if that’s what I choose.

The promises I made on May 12th to Rob never really died, anyway. Maybe for a little while they did. But we just found another way. I found another way because I didn’t let fear stand in the way of my endeavor to live in truth. But first, I had to be this version of me. Looking in the mirror at herself, as a bride. Trying to learn about love.

I am learning about love.